Vernon Report

Calgary Canoe Club

Regardless of the actual paddling and the success on the water, and
even in the absence of John Roberts,

Calgary once again WON the party!!!!

Jon A. stepped into the breach and once the Hip Hop started it all
went good. There was not a soul not givin’ it up for the club.

Highlights: Lynda, Chris and Sarah attempting to steal the Mixed
Trophy; Sarah yelling out as Ginter- Jess’ paramour- danced his heart
out for us, “GIVE ME SOME MORE!!!”,

Jacque and Jon A locked into mortal Capoeria Dance Combat with legs
flying into the air, and finally some fool put on a country western
hoe down tune and it all went very, very werid…..

Actual paddling was secondary to the “in the club” action of the
party but included such highlights as a SOLID WIN by the Mixed team
for the gold…

Lotus made several pushes but the mixed team led from the first turn
with only a slight give of ground on the down lake leg. The crossing
to Bird Shit island was Kawaihae- or the fierce sea- as the Hawaiians
would say.

It was where the mixed put on the 1000 meters – Lotus trailed by at
the end.

The basis for the win was Kips’ awesome steering.

AND the fact we had SARAH IN THE BOAT!!! As she was the GOLD MEDAL
WINNER the day before in the womens OC-1 race.

With a pretty good field behind her Sarah, literally walked away. She
actually began to do syncro swim movements in the boat the last

A masked stranger appeared and jumped in a blue boat belonging to Pat
and walked away with SECOND PLACE in the OC-1 and once she finished
she pulled of her disguise and it was Seldom Seen Charlene!!!!

Another Calgary medal!

Pat and the litter were there to celebrate the moment.

Lynda and Jess took a THIRD PLACE in the OC-2 race in the same field,
and Jess made a grab at the winner’s prize bottle of beer, but it was
all good.

In the mens’ race a huge wave wiped out half the field in front of
Jacque…just kidding as Jacque hammered the field for a SECOND in
the Mens’ OC-1 competition.

Shane Martin was spinning his neck like a bobblehead doll and was all
but screaming “where is he? where is he?” as Jacque hunted him down
like a terrier on a rat.

Jon A and Pat took third in the Oc-2 race and were beaten by a couple
of male strippers who got a boat at the last minute- oh sure ‘good
race’ JEFF and MIKE proud of yourselves to beat two old men? Our
mens’ team finished fourth in the Mirage and were proud to say there
wasn’t one fight!

They did the math John R and Jon A weren’t in the boat Hmmm? The
second mixed team wasn’t last and that was a goal they had set. It
was a real learning curve as the wind and waves baptisized the boat
and crew.

There were rumours of mischief as Peter left the boat crawling and
howling in the water at the edge of the lake. Thank you mixed B for
you enthusiasm and the look on all your faces when you hit the
shore!!! Even Barney shed a tear…

Final thoughts: The MIKES’ tore a strip off of Jon and Pat for the
first 2000 meters in the Oc-2 race and then huli’d to make their
third place possible. Thank you children!!!

Pregnant women abounded and so we never feared if a fistfight might
break out at the party as these women were looking good and tough!!!

The Newfoundland Babes gave it up all the way around!!! THANK YOU
AMANDA for the “Berry patch”,

Barry hinself was a saint especially when Jeff and Mike’s friend
STEVE of the grass skirt made a move on his wife!!!!!

MARTIN and DON put three Calgary oc-2s in the top six finishers and
Lydia and Ralph jumped on an OC-2 and discovered what that meant the
next day.

As Tiny Tim said’ God Bless us one and all” John Roberts WE MISSED

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